18 may. 2014

Más 'StarBomb' - Ryu y Ken raperos, Link es acosado, la fiesta arruinada de Drácula y Tails pasado de vueltas

La declaración de amor de Luigi fue el primer videoclip del disco 'Starbomb' que apareció las navidades pasadas. Ahora, a punto de comenzar el verano (como aquel que dice) os traemos cuatro videos musicales más del mismo burlesco CD.

Egoraptor sigue siendo el elegido para ilustrar estos temazos videojueguiles, pero se ha incorporado al diseño de éstos Cas van de Pol en la Monster Mash de Castlevania y Smashing Veteran con el arranque de ira del zorro helicoptéreo, así que es posible que los videoclips que falten también corran a cargo de terceros artistas.
Se avecina genialidad. Pero quiero ver ya el track de Metroid dibujado!!

¿Te pierdes con el rap rápido?¿Qué tal un poco de ayuda?

Egoraptor] Hey Ken
[Danny Sexbang] What's up, Ryu?
[Ego] You know I think you're a fucking dick right?
[Dan] Yeah?
[Ego] Well, I think we should settle this shit once and for all with a rap battle to the death
[Dan] Okay
[Ego] Do you think you can stop eating penis long enough to do that?
[Dan] Probably
[Ego] Alright, let's do this!

[Ego] Round 1! Rap!

[Verse 1: Egoraptor]
Fuck you, Ken, you're such a little fucking bitch
I'm gonna break your fucking spine in half and throw you in a ditch
Start up a fucking beat and drop the motherfucking bass
So I can shoot a load of Hadouken all over your face
I'll break your glass jaw like it was made of fucking straw, man
Shredding you up worse than Vega fapping with his claw hand
Cammy and Chun-Li don't think you're sexy at all
They're both coming home with me, one for each of my balls
Like the bonus round car your ass is getting destroyed
My cock is more swollen than Zangief's thyroid
Your dick's three inches hard, I'm working with a soft ten
So what you got to motherfucking say to me, Ken?

[Verse 2: Danny Sexbang]
I really don't appreciate those things that you just said
I was raised to respect others, and sometimes words can be hurtful
And I just, I, I just think that maybe-
Yo, an apology is in order

[Ego] Round 2! Rap!

[Verse 3: Egoraptor]
It's my honest suspicion
You're gonna want a physician
Only morticians are the one to help your future condition
Cause me whooping on your ass is a time honored tradition
So now I'll do it even faster in the Turbo edition
Watch your back, bitch, I'm gonna make you scream
My dick shoots farther than the arm of Dhalsim
Just like Sagat's chest, you're gonna need a skin graft
Now, please enjoy the tart, tangy taste of my shaft
My rhymes are fat like the sumo E. Honda
I'm the king of dick jungle with my giant anaconda
Harness my Chi to beat your ass with a Dao
So what you got to motherfucking say to me now

[Verse 4]
[Dan] Alright, two can play at this game, dick-penis man
Can you lose to me in a rap battle? Shoryuken
[Ego] Hadouken!
[Dan] You have proven that you are the best
You have hadouken'd a giant hole in my chest

[Ego] Hey, you did it! You rhymed on beat!
[Dan] Oh yeah, cool!
[Ego] Great job, man! I knew you could do it
[Dan] Thank you so much, I appreciate it
[Ego] Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!

[Dan] My scrotums...

Demasiado buen chaval eres, Link. Si es que... fiarse de un viejo escondido en una cueva es una práctica peligrosa. ¿No te enseñaron nada en la puta escuela? CORRE!!

Aww yeah

My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta Hyrule
Been on the force o' good since 1986, old school
I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam

[Old Man Sexbang]
Hold on a minute Link!

Hey, what's up old man?

[Old Man]
I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest
You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess
But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss
It's dangerous to go alone, take this

Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very nice
I can always count on you for helpful, friendly advice
Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size
Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick in disguise

[Old Man]
Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween
Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean
Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going?
This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing

That. Was. Weird, but whatever there is no time to lose
I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled out groove
Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City
This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty
I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction
Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned
I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do

[Old Man]
Hold on a minute Link!

[Link] Old Man, is that you?

[Old Man]
This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits
It's dangerous to go alone, take this

Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's your wrinkled dick again
Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men

[Old Man]
Don't be that way bitch let me introduce you
To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew
If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her
So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber

I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits
I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late
Okay, now I really don't know where I am

[Old Man]
Hold on a minute Link!

God DAMN it, Old Man!

[Old Man]
You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss
It's dangerous to go alone, take-

Fuck you!
Fuck you, I'm not giving you a-
Not touching your we-
Stop the chilled out groove!
You come in here telling me you got a weewee weapon
It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna splllllNO!

[Old Man]
So is that a "No" on the handjob or...? Okay.

La realidad sobre los Belmont: son todos unos revienta fiestas resentidos.

[Dracula (Egoraptor)]
It was a dark and spooky Halloween night
When I, Dracula thought that I would invite
All of my freaky friends, who were there in a flash
To a big dance party -- a Monster Bash!
Wolfman, Frankenstein, and Mummy were there
While Medusa fed some mice to the snakes in her hair
It was a groovy good time for a Vampire Bat
To fly out of his coffin and -- wait, what was that?!

[Simon (Danny Sexbang)]
Tis I!
Never fear, Simon Belmont is here!
To destroy evil monsters, and all you hold dear!
I will end your cruel necromancing!

[Wolfman (Egoraptor)]
Actually... we were just dancing -- GYAAAH!

To hell demon beast, from whence you came
You're in Castlevania, this isn't a game
Now run away, free this land of its chains
As God is my witness, I shall see you all slain!

Later that night, we went back to my castle
Where we could dance in peace, and also never get hassled
We had fun playing Twister on my queen-sized bed
The party was smaller 'cause Wolfman was dead!
At midnight I heard the Grim Reaper say
"I brought Guitar Hero, so who wants to play?"
It was Swampman on vocals, Nosferatu on bass
Boy, you should have seen the silly funny look on his -- OH GOD NO

Never fear, Simon Belmont is here! (Shit!)
The power of Christ is infused in my spear!
I'll put an end to your horrible reign!

But we're just playing Twister!

I will restore the glory of light
with my whip and the crystals, I'll take back the night!

[Grim Reaper (Egoraptor)]
You knocked over the chips...! Augggh!

Sound the death knell!
Medusa you she-witch, I will see you in hell!

For the love of god, Simon, what the fuck is your deal?!

You don't invite me to your parties. Do you know how that feels?

Are you friggin' serious? You killed all my guests! Just 'cause you felt left out?!

No!... Yes.

Well, monsters like me can still be your friend
Just stop bringing our lives to a god-awful end!
Now, since we are the only ones left alive
Let's play two-man Twister! Come on, give it a try!


[Dracula (spoken)]
Right foot green... AHAHAUGHH!!!

[Simon (spoken)]
Sorry! Sorry, force of habit. Well, he is dead...
Looks like I have won at Twister!

Tails, controla tu puto genio. Nadie tiene la culpa de que seas un amargado de mier-BANG!

[Danny Sexbang]
Hey kids, would you like to hear a fun story about Sonic and Tails? (Eat a dick!)
Great! Here we go!

[Danny / Sonic]
Sonic the Hedgehog, hero to all
When the world needed saving, he would answer the call
His little friend Tails was part of the team
But he was shitty and small, and had low self esteem
So when they gathered all the Chaos Emeralds
Tails stole them and put 'em under his genitals
He pawned them all in spending spree
For his crippling addiction to PCP
"Come on" Sonic said, "Let's go collect rings
And run through the meadow and jump on springs
We'll laugh and we'll play all day and all night
Why, your eyes are red, Tails, are you feeling alright"

[Tails (Egoraptor)]
Yo, fuck your rings, Sonic, it's time to get real
I wanna kill a motherfucker just to see how it feels
If you dare to come at me, you better come at me strong
I'll break your sorry-ass legs if you look at me wrong
I'm Tails the fox, you little bitch, and I'm on the attack
My endocrine system is fucking riddled with crack
Now I've got hallucinations that are out of control
And I can taste colors, and I'm gonna skull fuck your soul

[Sonic / Danny]
Hey Tails, we've got fun times in store
What's the first thing you'd like to do today (WHORES)
Ha, you're funny, we'll have a great time
There are lakes to swim in and mountains to (WHORES)
So, Sonic and Blaze played a game of lacrosse
While Tails slammed a bunch of sluts like a boss
He was about to bust nuts all up in a ho
When Robotnik showed up (Aw hell no)
Tails knew he must defend the whole city
So he stopped doing blow off the hooker's stank titties
Sonic said "Robotnik you gosh darn clown
I'm gonna jump on you until you fall down"

Hey stand the fuck back, I've got a better solution
It's time for old school, street justice death execution
Robo-bitch, here's some motherfucking caps for your head
Blaow blaow, now that egg-shaped cocksucker's dead
I'm Tails the fox, do I have to fucking say it again
I am exploding with evil that you cannot comprehend
I just committed a murder, but there is no time to rest
Let's get our friends over, have a giant forest fuck fest

[Danny / Sonic]
Sonic was too traumatized to reply
It was the first time he'd ever seen another man die
But it wasn't the last
Tails made sure of that
When he broke Big's spine and wore his ass as a hat
Tails the fox, his mind is blown
And he'll kick you right in your special zone
I think I'm gonna call the cops on him
But he will never know about it
Oh fuck!

Starbomb by Mabelma

Es dificil elegir, mucho mucho, pero sin duda me quedo con el (aw yeah) videoclip que se cachondea de la primera aventura de Link. Esa cara de pánfilo, esas barbas que lo invaden todo y ese ritmo a lo peli porno de los 80 es imposible quitárselo de la cabeza.
¿Y vosotros?¿Cual preferis? xD

Habrá que seguir esperando a ver terminada la lista completa de videos de éste sensacional disco. Para el año que viene seguro que ya están todos.
"-¡F*ck! Gimme the rest now!!" Rápido, no podré contenerlo por mucho más tiempo...

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